I watched Rachel Maddow interview Hillary Clinton Wednesday night on The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC. I was reminded that this summer, while at the TCRWP Summer August Writing Institute, I worked on a story about Election Night. I didn’t have my laptop with me then so I hand wrote it. I realized that I never added it to my blog so I decided to do that today to be my Tuesday TwoWritingTeachers blog post. #ImStillWithHer
I voted for Hillary. From the time I was old enough to vote, I’ve always voted Democratic. To me, Democrats look out for everyone – young, old, black, white, poor, middle class. This feels fair to me, so I vote Democratic. However, I must admit that I voted for Hillary for another reason. My oldest daughter, Bridgit worked for the Hillary campaign. So, of course, out of loyalty to my daughter, I voted for her boss.
I visited Bridgit at the Brooklyn Headquarters once during the summer of 2016. Bridigt took my photo in front of the large painted “Hillary for” arrow. I rememeber adding a post-it to the hundreds on the wall. Mine said, “children – especially those attending public school”.
I remember how she took me around and introduced me to lots of her co-workers. I remember telling each, “Thank you for all you are doing….keep it up…this work you are doing is too important.” And as a mom, I imagined telling my friends for years to come how Bridgit helped elect the 1st female President of the United States.
On the evening of Election Day, I sat on the couch alone. The TV was tuned to MSNBC and my phone was in my hand. I watched the US map on TV – soon states would be colored red and blue but now, all still were white.
I sent Bridgit this text:
Tuesday, Nov. 8, 7:09pm
Fingers crossed for today!!
Can’t imagine the feeling
at your office. Thankful for
ALL you have done.
A little later I texted and asked:
Tuesday, Nov. 8, 8:16pm
Where are you
ME: Keep it going!
Empire State bldg and
NBC are lit up pretty
red, white, and blue
Hate all the “Too Close to Call”
Bridgit – I know
Everything is just really
surreal right now
ME: Hang in there
Then later still, I sent this:
Tuesday, Nov. 8, 11:12pm
ME: Completely numb
Hang in there
Bridgit: I just…
What is this world
we’re living in?
The news wonks seemed confused by the election returns coming in. I’m feeling confused, too. I’m also hurting because I know my daughter is hurting and there is nothing I can do.
Instead of pressing the green speech bubble to send another text, I press the green phone receiver app, then contacts, then D, then Bridgit and I hear a ring. Then I hear it connect but don’t hear anything else.
“You OK?” I ask.
“No,” she replies. I can hear such sadness as she says this one word.
“At least VA went blue, ” I say, trying to be positive. Then we both are quiet. There is really nothing more to say. We stay quiet. Then after a bit, I say, “OK. I’m heading off to bed. So proud of you. Try to get some rest too” and I pressed the red phone receiver button and end the call.
I voted for Hillary and so did the majority of American voters. But that wasn’t enough. My state of VA went blue for Hillary and so did 18 other states but that wasn’t enough. My daughter worked 7 days a week, 14+ hours a day for 6 months at HQ in Brooklyn for the #ImWithHer campaign. But that wasn’t enough.
Losing is always hard. On Election Night, 2016 I learned losing is the worst ever when it is your child that loses and there is nothing you can do. At 12:30am, now a half-hour into Wednesday, I grabbed the remote, clicked off the TV and go to bed. Numb.
While watching the September 13th interview by Rachel with Hillary, I learned that Hillary started a non-profit called Onward Together with the motto: “Resist, insist, persist, enlist.” After hearing about it, I made a donation because I like what the organization stands for: Onward Together is dedicated to advancing the vision that earned nearly 66 million votes in the last election. By encouraging people to organize, get involved, and run for office, Onward Together will advance progressive values and work to build a brighter future for generations to come.
I’m starting to feel less numb.